GAY, LESBIAN, BISEXUAL, TRANSGENDER Issues

The recognition of Gay Rights and equality has moved forward considerably in recent years but mainly in the Western World, none the less if we cast our mind back just a few year, it was still like the Dark Ages. Past traumas suffered can be many and varied and there remains much prejudice in some parts of the globe even in this day and age. It is almost always important to examine a clients childhood for issues that are still haunting the individual today. Many people carry scars and have flashbacks, it is by working on a clients childhood traumas that we start to heal wounds and make the most impact in the resolution of destructive patterns of behaviour that are effecting them today. I have always found it extremely rewarding when working with Gay and lesbian clients, and the breakthroughs made are almost always life changing.

In my experience, it is often rejection or betrayal issues that has created much past hurt , maybe by a parent or close relative, by friends or lovers, even if the issue seems resolved, it can often still be there in the subconscious creating abandonment issues and negative messages.

Also memories of past homophobic bullying can be very intrusive and create limiting beliefs., often go back to and starting at school. The powerlessness felt when bullying is persistent and continues for long periods of time can create a pattern of being a victim right through into adulthood, along with post traumatic stress disorder. Clients have relived the horrors suffered in the playground or the changing rooms after sports, the attempts made to avoid the bullies, the constant name calling, the hiding away, the feelings of absolute worthlessness. In fact sometimes the bullying is going on both at school and at home where family life has been completely repressive; there is no escape!

It is so very sad, NO CHILD should ever have to suffer this sort of long term humiliation and abuse, but the real tragedy is that victims continue to have memories and flashbacks of these events, sometimes on a daily basis, thus allowing the phantoms of these long gone bullies to continue exerting their malignant power inside a persons mind.

EFT and Matrix Reimprinting are extremely effective in putting a permanent end to these flashbacks and negative feelings, the memory itself might not chance when using just EFT, but how we feel about the events that took place changes, the emotional charge is removed and the pictures surrounding what happened lose their intensity. We can then go on to Reimprint the memory in the Matrix by bringing in new resources, inviting someone or something to help or just do what they wished they had done.

Some of the most serious issues relating to past abuse are of a sexual nature, abuse like bullying takes many different forms and a history of abuse can lead to flashbacks, bi-polar, depression, PTSD and COMPLEX PTSD and many other negative conditions including addictions such as Sex Addiction and Alcoholism.

Many Gay men and Lesbian women come from very close and loving families and the last thing I want to do is stereotype. Sometimes relationships with parents have not been healthy though; Fathers of Gay men have been described as critical, distant, unloving , insensitive, violent, or were simply not there. Mothers were either very dominant, quick tempered, or manipulated their sons emotionally, some gay men felt that they always had to be the good little boy for mummy, were not allowed to play rough and tumble games, some have also reported that their mothers had flirted with them when they were young.

Please bare in mind that this is not about blame, being a parent is never easy, and people in our lives had their own problems and traumas to deal with. It is far better to forgive and move on, although not necessarily accept what transpired. Needless to say, the issues discussed can and do also effect Straight people, in my opinion bullying is nasty wherever it happens.

Please contact me if any of these issues have effected you, I would love to hear from you all. I’m hoping to start an EFT tapping group soon specifically for the Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender communities, but of course in the meantime everyone is very welcome to the Bexley group which will be starting in the Autumn of 2010.